Let's refer to the handbook, shall we?

So is there like a handbook on dating? If so, can someone please mail it to me? I am so sick of everyone telling me what I should or shouldn't do when it comes to dating. I know it's out of love and that people are only giving their opinion because they care. I know this, but please shuddup. Or, maybe I should just stop asking peoples opinions and stop asking for advice. I guess I just ask because I want to reflect/ bounce ideas around. To keep myself in check. But, there are always so many conflicting views and opinions that make my head spin and then it just becomes a big mess that I don't want to deal with.

My dilemma is this:
I had my date with Darin on NYE, we hit it off. We had fun. He's a nice guy. The night ended. A few days later Darin calls me. Says how he had a great time. Thinks I'm a nice girl (boy, I have him snowed huh.) Says how we're both coming fresh out of relationships, that he realizes this, hence no pressure, no rush. But would like to go out again, sometime. Perfect. Sounds like we're both on the same path.
Given all of that, I thought I might call him and see if he'd like to go to dinner Sunday evening...or coffee or whatever, just opening the door for more conversation with someone I had fun with. No big deal.

Or is it? Is this weekend too soon? Is there like a 30 day minimum or something I don't know about. One friend thinks that I need to be alone for like six years and be an empowered woman and forget about any relationships with the opposite sex. That I need to be totally over my marriage before I can move on. And one friend says, hell ya, call the guy. It's dinner not a marriage proposal. I can be an empowered woman and have dinner at the same time. But is "having dinner" then opening the door to "establishing" a relationship? If I keep having casual dinners with this guy (or anyone) then obviously a bond might possibly form and there I will be in a "relationship" wondering how I got there. But, I am no longer boundary-less and my goals are to have relationships with those boundaries in place. I see my past mistakes very clearly and I am not willing to make the same mistakes again. Noted.

I feel that I have a good grasp on reality. I process things faster than most people. I don't sulk. I'm motivated. I move on. I feel that I can establish these boundaries that I'm proposing lately. I don't feel like I am a total chaotic wreck that "needs to get over" anything. I'm over it. I'm out of it. I'm good. I mean seriously...the point of getting out of a bad marriage was so we could "move on." Like all other people in this world I want to eventually be with someone who loves me. I want to eventually share my life with someone. But I also know that it can't be just anyone and that it won't happen overnight. I don't feel as if I "failed" at my marriage. We succeeded for 11 years, there just came a stopping point. And seriously, good for us that we saw the stopping point and didn't force it to succeed any longer that it was meant to. Sure, damage was done. But I feel like I'm complete. I don't feel like I'm "missing" my "other half". Sure there are things in my life that I'm trying to pull together...but so is everyone else. I obviously know what I don't want.

I'm just going with the flow but at the same time, I'm not going to sit around for six years and reflect on where I was versus where I should be and whether I'm "healed" or not. For real. Live a little. I think it's okay if I have dinner with this guy a week after I met him. It's not like having dinner is making a statement of "I want to be with you for the rest of my life." What it boils down to is this: Darin and I had fun. If this had been one of my girlfriends that I had fun with, I'd be calling her in a week to have some more fun again. So what if I'm opening the door to possibly establishing a relationship eventually? Fact is, I don't even know him. And honestly, I can't set boundaries if I never even open the door. It may turn out that after I get to know him a little more, I may not even be interested. But if I don't call him or I don't ever call anyone or ever pursue and establish friendships then I will end up a very lonely person.

There's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it. I'm calling and just going to state that I don't know the rules on this sort of thing, but if he's available Sunday evening how about we have dinner and conversation. (and then maybe get married in Vegas the following weekend. Kidding.)

Seriously now...comments and opinions are welcome here.