Everyone's an expert!
Warning: this one might be laced with a little "fuck you" mentality. I'm in the zone as I've just gotten back into town from a weekend "Christmas with the extended family" AND I just read an email from my STBX about how "life is so peachy with my new fuckin' girlfriend." (Disclaimer: Anything I say here cannot be used against me in a court of law.)
I've come to realize that there are experts everywhere! Just listen and you might learn something...oh...no...is that shit I see overflowing from your mouth? I see your mouth moving but all I hear is "Blah blah blah."
I was a little reluctant to go, once again, to an extended family function. The last time I made the trip was July. About the same time when I had decided to leave the STBX. I finally got up the courage to tell my grandmother what my plans were and her reaction made tears well up in my eyes. She just shook her head and said, "Well yah let me tell ya, it's no fun to be alone." "Thanks for the support grandma, I knew I could count on my family for comfort." So, as you can imagine, I couldn't hardly wait to go back for Christmas. Alone.
And then of course there are all the other aunts, uncles, cousins etc...that have "been there and done that" and love to give advice. Fortunetly for me, I had a scape goat. The big hit of the party this year was my cousin who had Bariatric Treatment 5 months ago and has lost 98 lbs."Oh thanks Aunt Nebbie, I'm doing fine, really, by the way have you seen Greg? Doesn't he look fantastic?"
Which brings me to my cousin Greg. He really looks great. He's a much, much nicer person to be around. His whole demeanor has changed since he's lost so much weight. He was handing out weight loss techniques left and right. Complex B vitamins this, Whey protein that...Oh and then there's always the expensive and painful stomach stapling...that always does the trick.
There were multiple conversations about how so-and-so should really quit smoking because,"like, DER," that's how grandpa died from cancer. "Shudup and let them have their deadly vice already."
Or there's always the chatter about how my freshman cousin shouldn't be dating a senior. "Yah, because like, no one else here has ever married a 21 year old when she was 17."
A whole freakin' weekend with unsolicited advice is just about enough to make you jump in a pool of sharks with "laserbeams." But no, the saga can't end there. I have to come back to my humble abode to an email from my STBX that reads a little something like this:
I do appreciate Tara very much but not because I would be alone otherwise. And I'm not saying any of this to hurt you or anything. Tara is like me in most ways, not that she plays guitar or builds stuff or anything, but rather our temperaments, personalities, sense of humor, among many, many other things are very similar. It is the most unusual feeling, very surreal, to be with someone that you just get. You just know what that person is thinking. What that person would like. How that person feels. You were absolutely right when you said one should see oneself in the other in a relationship. It changes everything. You and I were to dissimilar to ever have that to any great extent. I'm so sorry things worked out the way they did. You will find someone, and it will hit you like a ton of bricks, it will come at the least expected moment from the least likely angle and you will just know almost immediately that it's right. You do however have to be very skeptical and question everything in the beginning. We talked on the phone playing 20 questions(20 million)for weeks before ever even having dinner. I would recommend that to anyone because it forces you to get to know someone and get a feel for who they are before you take the next step, and the next, etc...And we still enjoy talking at great length every night. I could write all night on the subject but I will stop. You probably don't really want to hear it. Just be sure you're with the right person. For yourself and for the boys. I wish you peace and happiness through the holidays and in the coming year.
So yeah, dude, like who wants to help me plan a freakin' wedding! "I'll be there will bells on MoFo." I'm having visions of the cake knife.
*Ha! Side note: The spell check doesn't recognize "STBX/Soon to be ex"...it's suggestion is "Stabs." I'm liken it.
I've come to realize that there are experts everywhere! Just listen and you might learn something...oh...no...is that shit I see overflowing from your mouth? I see your mouth moving but all I hear is "Blah blah blah."
I was a little reluctant to go, once again, to an extended family function. The last time I made the trip was July. About the same time when I had decided to leave the STBX. I finally got up the courage to tell my grandmother what my plans were and her reaction made tears well up in my eyes. She just shook her head and said, "Well yah let me tell ya, it's no fun to be alone." "Thanks for the support grandma, I knew I could count on my family for comfort." So, as you can imagine, I couldn't hardly wait to go back for Christmas. Alone.
And then of course there are all the other aunts, uncles, cousins etc...that have "been there and done that" and love to give advice. Fortunetly for me, I had a scape goat. The big hit of the party this year was my cousin who had Bariatric Treatment 5 months ago and has lost 98 lbs."Oh thanks Aunt Nebbie, I'm doing fine, really, by the way have you seen Greg? Doesn't he look fantastic?"
Which brings me to my cousin Greg. He really looks great. He's a much, much nicer person to be around. His whole demeanor has changed since he's lost so much weight. He was handing out weight loss techniques left and right. Complex B vitamins this, Whey protein that...Oh and then there's always the expensive and painful stomach stapling...that always does the trick.
There were multiple conversations about how so-and-so should really quit smoking because,"like, DER," that's how grandpa died from cancer. "Shudup and let them have their deadly vice already."
Or there's always the chatter about how my freshman cousin shouldn't be dating a senior. "Yah, because like, no one else here has ever married a 21 year old when she was 17."
A whole freakin' weekend with unsolicited advice is just about enough to make you jump in a pool of sharks with "laserbeams." But no, the saga can't end there. I have to come back to my humble abode to an email from my STBX that reads a little something like this:
I do appreciate Tara very much but not because I would be alone otherwise. And I'm not saying any of this to hurt you or anything. Tara is like me in most ways, not that she plays guitar or builds stuff or anything, but rather our temperaments, personalities, sense of humor, among many, many other things are very similar. It is the most unusual feeling, very surreal, to be with someone that you just get. You just know what that person is thinking. What that person would like. How that person feels. You were absolutely right when you said one should see oneself in the other in a relationship. It changes everything. You and I were to dissimilar to ever have that to any great extent. I'm so sorry things worked out the way they did. You will find someone, and it will hit you like a ton of bricks, it will come at the least expected moment from the least likely angle and you will just know almost immediately that it's right. You do however have to be very skeptical and question everything in the beginning. We talked on the phone playing 20 questions(20 million)for weeks before ever even having dinner. I would recommend that to anyone because it forces you to get to know someone and get a feel for who they are before you take the next step, and the next, etc...And we still enjoy talking at great length every night. I could write all night on the subject but I will stop. You probably don't really want to hear it. Just be sure you're with the right person. For yourself and for the boys. I wish you peace and happiness through the holidays and in the coming year.
So yeah, dude, like who wants to help me plan a freakin' wedding! "I'll be there will bells on MoFo." I'm having visions of the cake knife.
*Ha! Side note: The spell check doesn't recognize "STBX/Soon to be ex"...it's suggestion is "Stabs." I'm liken it.
posted by tiny dancer | 1:05 PM
5 Comments:
Yep. Peeling back Eric's toenails one-by-one seems like a plan to me. (We'll HIRE someone to do that, though. I ain't touching his feet.)
But seriously, the kind of oblivious (or not) insensitivity he displayed in writing this WILL, one day, come back to bite him on the ass. You can't go through life being this way without eventually getting in to trouble because of assholery ways.
Meanwhile, I sincerely hope that Eric continuing to be an utter ass makes it just a little easier for you to say buh-bye, because he doesn't deserve you.
Oh, hell no...
My grandmother is absolutely obsessed with my love life. They come from a different time. In her mind, I should have married the first guy who looked at me. Don't even get me started on my mom (who sometimes still thinks its 1955).
20 questions?...you have got to be joking.
Dating advice from the STBX!!! Seems like the "X" can't be big or loud enough. Was he high when he sent you that email, or just trying to get a reaction out of you because his life is so pathetic but he thinks you're doing so great that he wants to push your buttons to bring your happiness down a notch? Hmmm...Will your mom soap my mouth for using the word "dick?" ;-)
What a dickhead. What a maroon. What an asshat. What an...
well, you get the idea. Its time to rejoice in the fact that you are no longer married to that sensitivity-lacking jerk. UGH.
My first x-mas after the divorce was the hardest, because I had everyone and their mom asking me "what happened??" with that fake look of concern. I just told everyone I traded up. Screw 'em. Its only their business if you make it their business, yanno?
(still can't get over what an assholey e-mail that was!!! ergh!)
He totally doesn't deserve you.
Keep up the good work
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