How not to become a stalker: Lesson # UNO

The thing about girls is that they have this thing called EMOTIONS. This thing called EMOTIONS often gets in the way and causes periods of delusion. It's like the whole palm tree in the desert thing. It looks like it's there, but it's not. Where am I going with this? Ah yes.

EMOTIONS. That one bad sentence every girl utters at least one time in her life which make men want to tuck tail and run..."Let's talk about feelings."
Recently, a friend of mine, and I'm not saying who (you nasty slut) hooked up with a guy. (Please forgive me for telling this story but it must be told to save every other dating girl. You are a martyr. You are a slut, but you are a martyr too. Way to take one for the team.) She's kinda new to this whole dating thing just like myself. Let's just say, I'm learning from her mistakes.

Anyways, she finds this guy. They have known each other a whole week. They have actually been around each other a matter of 8 or 9 hours TOTAL. In the matter of that 8 or 9 hours they've talked about their families, their past relationships, their goals etc... They have flirted non-stop. From what I hear, it got pretty hot and heavy. She gave me the details of course, but for her sake I'll spare them here. So she spends some "quality" time with this guy (if you know what I mean) and from what I hear it was well worth it. They watch a movie afterwards, everything is fine. He has plans that evening, so she leaves and they are both on their merry way.
The next day is when her emotions set in. All mixed up. She starts tearing herself apart. She starts thinking about what a "slut" she's become. OMG. She just slept with a guy she barely knows. Now girls, you're all with me now aren't ya. We've all been there. (As everyone shakes their heads yes and giggles.) We've all had that moment of weakness when we let the emotions step in the way. I've heard some stories about how women have told the man that she "loved him" on the third date. We're all thinking of that freaky chic on Wedding Crashers now. "Don't ever leave me cause I'll find you." Girls, admit it, we've all been that freaky girl. I'll admit...when I was dating DK I told him that "I thought I was falling in love with him" and that was after about two months of dating him. (Give me a break it was a rebound.) It didn't take long for the "relationship" to fizzle out after that. Come to find out, I was more "in love" with the six bars of smelly good soap in his shower.
Anyways, back to the story. She freaks. She sends him this "feelings email" with good intentions of course. (Sorry, sweetie but it's funny.) She begins to tell him how she's feeling a little "funky" after their little rendevous. She states how she's not just looking for "a good time." She admits that more than anything she wants a relationship. She does put the clause in there that she doesn't neccasarily mean with him. But none the less she begins to tell him her feelings and what she wants and if he's not open to that then she needs to know now. She wants "passion" and a "deeper level."
And then she hits the send button. The instant she sent it she called me and freaked out. OMG! She knew she had done the freaky girl thing. OMG! How was she ever going to get out of this one? So me and some other good friends try to coach her through it. We tell her we've all been there done that. We make her laugh about it. We tell her to play it off. Say it was just a test. How he handles it will give her a really good glimpse into this guys heart. Will he play along? Will he not even respond to it at all? Will he file for a restraining order? Will he fall off of the face of the earth? This will tell her if he's worthy or not. So she let the emotions slide in there for a little bit. It's okay. The damage can be reversed we promise her.
She ends up doing very well at addressing it with this guy. She plays it off, she laughs about it. Do you want to know what his response was? I fear that from his response he isn't worthy... he is the guy that makes all other guys look bad. Sorry gentlemen, but he laughed and agreed that she was indeed a "freak." In fact thats his new nickname for her. Freak. He laughed about it and said that he "was waiting for her to tell him what kind of ring she wanted." (Okay, that one's funny, I'll give him that.) And then he proceeded to tell her it was okay, that she was "just disillusioned by his cock." Yes. I shit you not, he said that.
See this is why all of us single people need a dating handbook. Dating for dummies. What not to say on a first date. That's why I'm telling this story. We could all learn a valuable lesson from this.
Girls...when those emotions creep up and you feel the need to share them...give it a day or two to process before hitting send. When in doubt send it to your girlfriends first. Show it to your brother. Do whatever you need to do, but PLEASE just don't fall prey.
Guys...be sensitive and please (for your own sake) don't tell her she was disillusioned by your cock. For real. Just be honest. She just yanked out her liver and showed it to you now be respectful and show her yours. It's the least you can do.
And that...guys and gals...is lesson #UNO in my new "How not to become a stalker, dating handbook."