Rare form
Ten Things I'm scared of.
1) Bats. I hate bats. They're furry. They swoop and they like to play games w/ girls who are scared of them. Nothing a broom and a pillow can't take care of though.
2) Getting my head under water. No...silly, I'm fine in the shower. In a large body of water, or even a pool for that matter. I cannot dunk my head under water. Can't do it. In a past life I was Robert DiNiro in "Insomnia."
3) My alter ego. Tiny Dancer. She scares the piss out of me sometimes. Especially when I'm lying in bed trying to go to sleep and she creeps up beside me and says "asshole chocolate" and makes me laugh until tears start pouring down my face. Now that's some scary shit.
4) Oh whats his name? Creepy guy that used to go to the same church. I see him around town every now and then and he totally creeps me out. After all of these years he still knows my name and smiles kinda sadistically when he sees me.
5) My libido.
6) Billy Blanks.
7) That one Donald Duck movie that my oldest son had as a toddler. The spanish one. The one we watched over and over and over again. It should've been called Donald Duck smokin' crack w/ the Cheshire cat in Wonderland. Trust me, it's scary.
8) The words "There are no Messages in your inbox." Makes me weep actually. One day I'm positive I will walk out of this dungeon I call my office and the rest of the world will be gone. I'll be the only one left. Left behind. Or maybe werewolves have eaten everyone and since I was locked away in my dungeon...I mean "office" they couldn't get to me.
9) When I let my dog sleep w/ me and I wake up in the middle of the night to her weird horking sound. I swear, I thought she was dead. It wasn't funny. After about the fifth time I kicked her ass out of the bed.
10) Larry the Cable Guy.
TAG! You're it. Yup, YOU!
Wait, this just in...
11) The fact that I have nothing better to do than make up my own "Tags" and insist that everyone play along.
12) The guy who calls himself "Spartacus" on this dating site. He scares me too.
1) Bats. I hate bats. They're furry. They swoop and they like to play games w/ girls who are scared of them. Nothing a broom and a pillow can't take care of though.
2) Getting my head under water. No...silly, I'm fine in the shower. In a large body of water, or even a pool for that matter. I cannot dunk my head under water. Can't do it. In a past life I was Robert DiNiro in "Insomnia."
3) My alter ego. Tiny Dancer. She scares the piss out of me sometimes. Especially when I'm lying in bed trying to go to sleep and she creeps up beside me and says "asshole chocolate" and makes me laugh until tears start pouring down my face. Now that's some scary shit.
4) Oh whats his name? Creepy guy that used to go to the same church. I see him around town every now and then and he totally creeps me out. After all of these years he still knows my name and smiles kinda sadistically when he sees me.
5) My libido.
6) Billy Blanks.
7) That one Donald Duck movie that my oldest son had as a toddler. The spanish one. The one we watched over and over and over again. It should've been called Donald Duck smokin' crack w/ the Cheshire cat in Wonderland. Trust me, it's scary.
8) The words "There are no Messages in your inbox." Makes me weep actually. One day I'm positive I will walk out of this dungeon I call my office and the rest of the world will be gone. I'll be the only one left. Left behind. Or maybe werewolves have eaten everyone and since I was locked away in my dungeon...I mean "office" they couldn't get to me.
9) When I let my dog sleep w/ me and I wake up in the middle of the night to her weird horking sound. I swear, I thought she was dead. It wasn't funny. After about the fifth time I kicked her ass out of the bed.
10) Larry the Cable Guy.
TAG! You're it. Yup, YOU!
Wait, this just in...
11) The fact that I have nothing better to do than make up my own "Tags" and insist that everyone play along.
12) The guy who calls himself "Spartacus" on this dating site. He scares me too.
posted by tiny dancer | 4:10 PM
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