Juggernaut in the hood
Friday night was GNO. It has been seven months since the last GNO. That's a lot of laundry.
So we make it to this bar/pool hall/dance floor place that I absolutely abhore. It's in the hood. But only half the people wear shoes. We get our first drinks, sway to the beat of the cover band playing. And then all of a sudden I find myself alone. On the dance floor. Beside a big beef eater I called Juggernaut. He smiled at me and I swear I thought of that movie Hostel. Juggernaut wants to dance with me. Either that or wrap that thick pewter chain he's wearing around my neck and kill me. But I decide what the frell. I can dance with a Juggernaut in the hood, even if he is wearing a skin tight tank top. So I throw a little NATR head moves in there, and he bounces his pecks for me, which makes me smile and chuckle to myself. Is this guy for real? Yes. Yes, he thought he was. Gawd love em.
So the song ends and I go hunt down my BFF to kill her for leaving me on the dance floor all alonesome with Juggernaut. I inform her that she is indeed no longer my BFF. She loses. So of course she wants to make it up to me. So I say fine, she has to dirty dance with Juggernaut and then I'll be happy. I suddenly hear the words "save a horse ride a cowboy" and I insist that this is the song she must dirty dance with Juggernaut to and then we'll be friends again.
She does. She did. Except at first her and Juggernaut weren't close enough to satisfy me. Me and my partner in crime decide to move in. We attack from both sides. We push our bodies against my BFF so that she is forced to move in closer to Juggernaut... and then we leave. Misson accomplished. The BFF is now riding a seven foot, tank top, rope like chain, mullet wearing, peck bouncing, cowboy. We are friends again.
Oh, and we saw Kid n' Play at the same bar. Must've been movie star night out...
So we make it to this bar/pool hall/dance floor place that I absolutely abhore. It's in the hood. But only half the people wear shoes. We get our first drinks, sway to the beat of the cover band playing. And then all of a sudden I find myself alone. On the dance floor. Beside a big beef eater I called Juggernaut. He smiled at me and I swear I thought of that movie Hostel. Juggernaut wants to dance with me. Either that or wrap that thick pewter chain he's wearing around my neck and kill me. But I decide what the frell. I can dance with a Juggernaut in the hood, even if he is wearing a skin tight tank top. So I throw a little NATR head moves in there, and he bounces his pecks for me, which makes me smile and chuckle to myself. Is this guy for real? Yes. Yes, he thought he was. Gawd love em.
So the song ends and I go hunt down my BFF to kill her for leaving me on the dance floor all alonesome with Juggernaut. I inform her that she is indeed no longer my BFF. She loses. So of course she wants to make it up to me. So I say fine, she has to dirty dance with Juggernaut and then I'll be happy. I suddenly hear the words "save a horse ride a cowboy" and I insist that this is the song she must dirty dance with Juggernaut to and then we'll be friends again.
She does. She did. Except at first her and Juggernaut weren't close enough to satisfy me. Me and my partner in crime decide to move in. We attack from both sides. We push our bodies against my BFF so that she is forced to move in closer to Juggernaut... and then we leave. Misson accomplished. The BFF is now riding a seven foot, tank top, rope like chain, mullet wearing, peck bouncing, cowboy. We are friends again.
Oh, and we saw Kid n' Play at the same bar. Must've been movie star night out...
posted by tiny dancer | 4:44 PM
1 Comments:
That's the beauty of dive bars ~ there's always a prime selection of barefoot-dancing, tank-top-sporting, mullet-wearing, peck-bouncing cowboys to choose from.
Verily, your friend has taken a bullet for you. Buy her many drinks.
And I need to get out more.
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