It's only Tuesday?

I was running late for work today. Instead of calling the office, I somehow called West Hollywood.
I'll take that as a sign.

I padded off to the bedroom to wake up The Things, and found a Tween Angst note. Choked down panic with peaceful assurance. A flash into what lies ahead in the next few years. Calmed the horizons with truth and dignity and the rise and fall of the chest.

Dog shit in the middle of the kitchen floor. Whose dog is this?

Wrinkled shirts and bad hair day. Nothing dryers and scissors can't fix.

The big O elluded me. But then who has the right to complain after 150 in a row.

Barely side swiped. Nothing like the road rage. Astonishment with a half cocked smile on the tweens face. Yah. Dearest mommy has some anger issues but you don't see angst notes here do ya.

I enter the office a mere 25 minutes late only to find hardware failure. Then a thought of Morelli made the future bright.

Chaos of the Vera Bradley kind in which I was the one trampled at the door.

And then...

My horoscope read:
It will be hard to deal with the emotional issues that are likely to arise because of a strong misleading force that is feeding the illusion that things are fine when really they are not. Stop pretending that everything is going well. The sooner you face the truth, the sooner it will stop plaguing you. In an effort to keep everything running smoothly, you probably continue to go with the flow and perpetrate the deception, when really you need to confront it head-on.

So...there's that.

I wouldn't have paid any attention to this, except this morning was a rough one and I was hoping for a good outlook and this one got thrown in my face. Not what I wanted to see.

I hardly take significant stock in anything forecasted or written by "man." I am a true believer in what happens, happens for a damn fine reason. Therefore, I tend to go with the flow. Swimming downstream is much easier.

What I instantly got from this forecast though, is to "take the bull by the horns." Any coincidence that the STBX is a Taurus? I think not. The one thing that I've found true about bulls... they have stubborn control issues. They must always remain in control. It's about fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of how other people will react. Fear of losing because maybe, just maybe, the other person is better than the bull could ever be. It's kind of like the short man syndrome. Short little guy w/ great big attitude just to let people know he exists. Like the typical three year old.

I know how to take the bull by the horns. I do. The question is, do I have the energy? I know how. I know it takes a lot of craft. But my girl is crafty.

Can't I just detour and shoot the damn bull straight in the heart? A bullet doesn't cost much. Let it flop over and bleed out? I'm all about non-conformity.

I apologize for being stereotypical of the Taurus. I know two Pisceneans that are not much like myself, so I have no right to group. It's just something I've noticed about the bulls I do know. But it all remains in the hour.

It's just that I'm just so freakin tired. Emotionally and physically.
The inevitable dangling carrot.
Comfort zone, what comfort zone?
I've been yelling "Sanctuary" on deaf ears for over a year.
I've trusted the process.
I've hung.
I've gone ape-shit on a punching bag.
I've been blinded by looking at the bright side. All I can see are little blue dots.

Alas, I have no choice but to keep going with the perception that everything is okay. Everything has to be okay or I would lose my mind again. I retain the idea that everything is just how it should be. For some reason or another.

The choices we make can tell us a lot about ourselves.
Do I choose to take the bull by the horns or do I go with the flow?
Reminicent of the road less traveled.
And that makes all the difference.

At least I have speed dial.