Blissful Birthdays

I've scoured the depths of my brain and have recovered a few very distinct birthdays from my past. I remember my Eleventh birthday. My family was in the process of moving from Michigan to Indiana. I was in the fifth grade. I had no friends in Indiana yet. I had one very close friend named Christie Majewski in Michigan. Her and her mother decided to throw me a suprise birthday party. I got to stay with them for a day or two in Michigan during this moving process. They made me a birthday cake (which the their dog took a nice chunk out of.) They invited over a few of my other close friends and suprise! It was a party. One of the best birthdays I ever had. We dressed like rock stars and sang at the top of our lungs to that one song "Heaven is a place on earth." I had the best time. It meant alot to me.
My Thirteenth birthday. My brother was in critical condition at the hospital. I think my mom made a chocolate cake for me a few days later. My brother survived and is alive and well now. But it was very stressful and very scary. I never wanted to be an only child. That's the point in my life where I actually started loving my older brother.
Skip ahead a few years...
My 21st birthday. I'm actually suprised I remember it. Lots and lots of alcohol. I went out with my brother, the STBX and the FIL. They got me so very drunk. The last thing I remember really is the FIL handing me a "snake bite" and saying "You can't be a member of the family until you do one of these." I succumbed to peer pressure easily then. I didn't waste a second looking into his eyes, licking that salt off and slamming that shot. That was right after the sour apple pucker shot courtesy of the bartender. Can someone please remind me why I wanted so bad to be part of his family? Of course no family members were around the next day as I shampooed vomit out of my hair and threw away my pillow. Bastards.
My 25th birthday. This one was a really weird one. I was a little messed up in the head then (Yah, I know like I'm not now...) I was thrilled to find out that one of my brothers friends had the same birthday. So we decided to spend it together, a bunch of us (mostly men) ended up at the strip club. Two different clubs in fact. I didn't mind. I'm a very open-minded person, it didn't phase me much. I shared my cigar with the stripper who gave the STBX a lap dance. I was pretty messed up in the head that night. I ended up in the womens restroom having a breakdown and my brother followed me in and talked me through it. We won't go into the whys and hows of the breakdown. I was pretty messed up in the head then. I might blog about that some other day when I'm feeling really brave. Too many ramifications still.
Last year...
My 28th birthday. Okay so I was a little messed up in the head then too, but that was all over the STBX and doesn't matter much now. Anyways, I remember a quiet dinner w/ Ken and Andi and our favoritest restaurant The Cork. I say quiet because I had laryngitis that night. I thought my throat and my chest were going to explode, but that didn't stop Ken and Andi from making me laugh. I remember that I talked Andi into wearing her black hooker shirt. The one with the key hole right on her cleavage. She was hot. Meanwhile I wore my cable knit turtleneck sweater. Gawd, how awful of me. Hee hee. After we left The Cork, the STBX and I met up w/ my brother at a local dive. I sat on a bar stool literally dying from my throat and chest pain. But damnit, it was my birthday and I wanted to feel special. I remember running into an old friend from highschool and how she filled me in on her recent divorce. I remember her saying that she didn't recommend single motherhood. Hmmm. Single motherhood versus blowing your brains out because some arogant asshole wants you to look like a playboy bunny. It took a few months, but I chose single motherhood. Probably a wise choice no matter what my old highschool friend said.

So there you have it...the birthdays I remember:
1. Singing along to "Heaven is a place on Earth" celebrating the last time I would see my best friends.
2. Seeing my brother w/ tubes and ventilators in any hole and crevice they could find to put them in.
3. Wanting so bad to be a "part of the family" that I suffered through washing vomit out of my hair.
4. Having a breakdown in the womens bathroom at a strip club.
5. Having laryngitis and choosing between single motherhood or self inflicted gun shot wound.

Who's freakin depressed now? When I was younger...my great grandmother fell and broke her hip on one of my birthdays and on another occasion my aunts husband left her.
Lord, maybe I should be boycotting my birthday instead of Valentines day...
No worries, this year it's going to be different because Stephanies coming to my party!!!
But seriously, I think I'm doing something right for once, my head is pretty well screwed on straight, I feel good, so hopefully the cycle has been broken.Chocolate cake sounds good. I want candles too damnit.